How to flirt with those whom you want to impress correctly and without aversion? Science gives to this question is unequivocally clear answer. Furthermore. According to recent studies, the “right” flirting is much more effective than visual prettiness. Signaling a willingness to communicate and self-interest in this dialogue, you get a huge trump card and add yourself attraction in the eyes of “object” of your attention.
Webster University psychologist Dr. Monica Moore has studied methods of flirting, enjoyed by visitors lonely bars, shopping centers and other places where young people often are introduced. As a result of her research, she came to the conclusion that physical attractiveness – not the most crucial factor in getting acquainted. Moreover, such authors as Leil Lowndes and Lillian Glass have already notice some features of attractiveness.
Most likely, stand a better chance to make an impression are those, who showed a willingness to dialogue and confidence – that is, those who most looked into interlocutor eyes and smiled. Demonstrate your interest in getting acquainted – is half the battle.
This is true both with respect to the men and to the women. Two kinds of flirting can be called universal – the smile and eye contact. They are effective in almost any part of the world for both men and women. But the most effective way to achieve the favor of person, you are you are interested in – touches. And psychologists distinguish two kinds of touch.
The first – a touch that can be called “pure friendship” and “innocent”: pat on the back, shaking hands, and so on.
The second type is a “romantic” character: lightly touch the partner’s face, and then accidentally touch the waist or shoulder, and then just as easily – to the forearm, and so on.
The study found that even a slight touch of the hand significantly increases the chances of a man to get the phone number woman he likes. However, it is neccessary to understand and not to underestimate the importance of context.
In different circumstances, the same style of behavior is perceived differently. The more formal is environment, the more explicit must be the signal to be interpreted correctly. That is, if, say, a man smiling to a girl and throws gentle look on her anywhere in the restaurant, it is likely to understand that he flirts with her. And if the same thing happens at a business meeting – lady may not understand.
Not all flirting methods are universal
If a woman touching a man almost always forgivable, a man touching a woman can get into quite an unpleasant situation.
The study showed that men should not resort to techniques that emphasize physical attractiveness. They are either not effective or their effect is minimal. (Too extravagant clothes, too much jewelries etc.). And that’s what man is really worth to emphasize – it is his social superiority. In particular, it is especially effective quick glance at the object of interest, movements and postures that allow a take much space (for example, you can reach out, putting her back in her standing next to the chair). More move through the bar, talking to the people, friendly patting them on the shoulder, or allowing them playful punches and so on. The study showed that men who demonstrate a positive attitude (looks), along with its status (friendly intercourse with other men) are most likely to attract women.
How do you know that flirting works? If you want to know did your methods worked, talk to the girl and listen as she talking. If her speech is smooth and fast – a good sign.
Why did he / she does not catch my signals
Sometimes flirting person is sure that he/she demonstrates his/her intentions quite clear, but no one except himself/herself, does not understand this. The most common reason for this is seated in the subconscious fear of rejection potential partner.
Psychologists call this effect “trap of an exaggerated signal” – the person rather flirts in his/her imagination than in reality, and does not realize that simply does not show that interest on which is hoping to get a response. To achieve the desired result such a person needs to overcome discomfort and to “strengthen” signals.