From generation to generation, children tell their parents the same claim. What are the persist errors adults do, and how to not repeat them?
All parents have some dreams about their children, but often is very important thing – they do not pay enough attention to child’s desires and expectations!
If you have a son or daughter, your goal – to rise intelligent, kind, sociable, careful, confident child, who never quarrels with other children, do not contradict you, and cleans up after a toys. But not all parents can achieve this goal. And what’s more – surely for your own parents it was not possible too – sure the American family psychologist and life-coach Peggy Burdick.
In her practice, 95% of the women with whom she had worked, talked about the difficult relationship with their mothers. Although the problem of “fathers and sons” is fully manifested not in early childhood, but later, its foundations are actually laid, when the child is still small. How not to repeat the mistakes of your own parents? We can break the cycle and stop stepping on the same rake that our parents, if we abide by simple rules.
And satisfy them, dating back to the period of pregnancy. When a baby is born, the parents can only fully give him warmth, love, and the best food. And believe me, it will not end, even when your child becomes a teenager – just needs will be more complicated. Of course, it is impossible to focus only on the child, especially if there is no one to help parents, and they must do a thousand other things. But this is the only way you will avoid reproach, “You don’t care!”, which, alas, hear many parents of teenagers. Give your child feel that he/she really needs and it is important for at least one person in the world. And often the only thing you will give – your attention and love.
Ask the right behaviors
Mom – the idol for the child. He/she will repeat everything you say or do. And then all that can be (and most likely will) used against you, so watch out for your speech and actions. It is senseless to demand from the baby’s compliance with traffic rules, if the parents are at it hard crossing the road at a red light. Just as pointless to scold the child for he cries, if at home you often speak in a raised voice.
Children’s “problems” that cause you to smile, can be vital for your child. Respect his feelings and never make fun of them. Ironic parents remarks remain in the memory for many years and often form lifelong complexes. For example, if you have a daughter, never make comments about her weight (even the best of intentions), and do not complain about your own problems with the figure.
Whether we like it or not, in a relationship with our own children, we often unconsciously follow the patterns of behavior of our parents. Think of what you were suffering the most as a child, and think don’t you make the same mistakes. After all the attention to yourself and child – is the foundation of good relations for many years.