People say the best choice of your future spouse is your best friend. But what if that’s just a mistake and these two roles should be separated? Let’s decide this together.
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To start with, let’s give our own definition of a person who is called “a friend”. So who’s that? A true friend is someone you feel comfortable with in any situation, it is a person you trust and you can share your inner turmoil with. But actually your spouse is someone who must have all these characteristics if you want to build a solid basement for your relationships.
What’s next? A friend is someone you are not ashamed to talk to about all the intimate questions and you know he/she will understand you and will support any of your choices. But again, a spouse can also contain these abilities, more of that, it would be impossible to live with someone you can’t show your nude soul to.
Being friends means having something in common like hobbies and interests, like a favorite book to read and discuss, like common dreams and goals to achieve. These and other things are the ones to unite people and to give them one life path. And again, you wouldn’t marry someone you are completely different with. Of course, there must be some distinctions, and you shouldn’t like cats if your spouse does, but there should be something in common that can give you a mutual life destination you’ll be going to arm-in-arm.
And again these two roles – being a best friend and a spouse can exist in one. But…
Let’s look at them from another perspective. Ask yourself:
1) Should your spouse be someone more than a best friend and should he/she do more for you? Being married is a sacred thing. It’s above and beyond friendship – even above being best friends. Itr means that you trust and care about your partner so much that you can literally give all of you to him/her. Sure, you can tell you best friend many intimate, vulnerable, even hot things and know they will understand and accept you the way you are. But with a spouse it is something much deeper, something that can be called a pure love. And this feeling is something you can’t share with your best friend.
2) Would you consider an option of having sex with your best friend and wouldn’t your friendship crash after that? A marriage is a passionate, intimate and sexual relationship. A relationship with your best friend is platonic and shouldn’t be sexual. Your sexual life will suffer if you have sex with your spouse like with your best friend. Having sex like with a spouse means being wild in the process, it means denuding your body and soul and with no shame show all your animal instincts to your partner. This is just another thing you can’t do with your best friend.
3) Are there any issues you can’t talk about with your spouse? Dear men, your wives do not want to be treated like football experts when you decide to discuss another football match with them. Here come in handy your best friends. Dear women, it is not the most important knowledge for your beloved ones to know how to match the color of your lip stick and a nail polish. It is better to call your best friend and discuss this issue with her.
It is better to set boundaries in such questions and not bother your spouse with it. Remember to keep something for your partner and something completely different for your friend. Besides, having something entirely opposite to discuss with another person gives you a possibility to rest from your relationships and therefore make them stronger.
4) Should your spouse come and go like a best friend? I bet the best friend you had in the primary school had changed to another one in a high school and maybe now it is a completely different person. People enter our lives, become someone closer than just acquaintances and then circumstances happen and they leave. We may have an infinite amount of similar people in our life but a spouse is someone to choose once in a life time.
Your life partner should be someone you are interested to spend time with and you never get exhausted of their company, on the contrary, there is always something new to discover in that person. Husband and wife do new things together and explore life together through sickness and health and until death sets them apart.
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